Saturday, October 15, 2011

Bronzy's Beauty Tips

Bronzy: Mommy, the way you groom yourself is not very effective.
Mommy: What do you mean?

Bronzy: Come with me and I'll explain.

Bronzy: First of all, to get rid of your dull complexion, exfoliate every day.
No excuses.

 Bronzy: And don't neglect your heels.

Bronzy: I've seen your heels, Mommy.
They have more cracks than Humpty Dumpty had after his fall.

Mommy: But, Bron... I'll pull a hamstring and tear 60 ligaments if I try doing what you're doing.
Bronzy: NO EXCUSES!

Bronzy: I've also seen your cellulite. You need to massage your thighs more often.
Mommy: Bronzy! Can you NOT publicly announce all my flaws?

 Bronzy: Also, your hands have gotten very dry and wrinkly from all that detergent.
 Scrub and moisturise them as often as you can.

 Bronzy: And pay attention to those elbows too.

 Bronzy: Just follow these simple tips, Mommy.
You'll soon be less wrinkly and dimpled,
and have an adoring audience all the time like I have.

~5-Cat Style


15 comments:

Fuzzy Tales said...

Ha! Thanks for the good chuckle so early this AM!

Bronzy, your tips are excellent. Your mom might be able to take advantage of them to look better, but we think our mom's beyond any help now. :-P

FURKIDSMOM said...

MOL Bronzy, you're the purrfect consultant. Our Mom could benefit from all of those tips!!

The Florida Furkids and Angel Sniffie

Hannah and Lucy said...

Bronzy you should have your own beauty show on TV. We would love to watch your shows.
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

Sparkle said...

Sounds like good advice to me, Bronzy! I don't know why humans complain so much.

Mark's Mews said...

That was a great demonstration of how to properly bathe oneself, Bronzy!

Julia Williams said...

MOL -- I have often watched my contortionist kittehs and wished to be HALF as flexible. Sadly, that will only happen if I can come back in my next life as a cat.

Katnip Lounge said...

Bronzy, we feel there is no hope for the Humans; they are so BALD, for one! But at least you tried.

The Island Cats said...

Those are some great beauty tips, Bronzy!

MoMo said...

Hehehe, Bronzy, thanks for the tips. I have made SS taken down all the notes. She says first she will have to grow her tongue longer......

dArtagnan Rumblepurr/Diego Hamlet Moonfur said...

Love the technique!

Repositório said...

Great beauty lessons!!!!
I love it!

Daisy said...

I think my Mommeh needs to follow your advice, too!

meowmeowmans said...

MOL! Good tips, Bronzy!

Natalie said...

Excellent advice, Bronzy! It applies to me too - thank you!

Louche Tabby said...

...another 'louche tabby'. Hmph. I have competition!